I have to admit something: one of my greatest frustrations is when I hear someone say they "can't" do something and give up before trying.
Now, I'm not talking about those days when we just can't - those days when we're completely tapped out. That happens and we should absolutely respect it. But living in the mindset of inability shouldn't be a norm and it is all too often.
I heard a really interesting bit about this on the "Smartless" podcast, of all places. Normally, it's all buffoonery, which is why I listen, but on the Mitch Hurwitz episode, he touched on a psychological phenomenon that happens. A study of 2nd graders included the kids being divided into two groups. They all took the same 2nd grade level math test. When they finished, one group was told they were very smart while the other was told that they were hard workers. The kids were all then given a 5th grade level exam, deliberately beyond anything they'd learned. Interestingly, the "smart" group gave up almost immediately while the "hard working" group stuck at it and tried different ways to solve the problems. And while there could be many takeaways here, I think a big one is this: we are programmed to not want to deal with a problem that challenges our self-image.
How many of us abandon a potentially fun hobby if we're not good at it right away? We buy a guitar, for example, with the best intentions but quickly realize that learning to play an instrument is hard. But that's also the point: none of us are birthed knowing how to do these things. We've all had to learn. Some clearly pick things up more quickly than others - and we can even debate the whys behind that - but the fact is that we can learn how to do hard things if we are willing to challenge our beliefs.
Does this mean that I'm going to run out and become a mathematician? Not likely in this lifetime, but that's also because I've internalized that I "can't" math. While I do know I can probably change that if I really wanted to, it's not actively necessary for me to learn trigonometry. However, I absolutely can and have learned enough "math" to take control of my formerly out-of-control financial habits, something that I always believed I couldn't do before.
The stories we tell ourselves impact what we think we can do and that's incredibly powerful. How much different can life be if we realize we are so much more capable than we let ourselves believe?
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