Hey there, it's been a minute! And it turns out that I just needed some time off. We all do.
Which is my very uneloquent way of diving into the topic of value. I was talking to another widow coach last night and we both are at similar points: we're shucking off situations, expectations, and circumstances that no longer bring value.
This sounds very Marie Kondo but it's not. After profound loss - when we've had our world upended and we have to rethink everything - it's not unusual to streamline our lives. I certainly experienced this and after talking to many other widows, I've noticed it as a theme: life is SHORT. We get that it can be over in that proverbial heart beat. (And in my case, Bill's life was over exactly that quickly.) Why linger in situations that weigh us down and make us feel less than, no matter what it may be?
There are always things we need to do. I wouldn't exactly call cleaning the bathroom a joy-sparking experience but it's a necessary evil for me. But, I've really learned to not feel guilty about saving my emotional investments for people, places, and experiences that are reciprocal and worthwhile.
I have historically been a workaholic and that's one of the few regrets I have about my marriage. When we moved up to the Bay Area, Bill really didn't want to but I made the case that the job offer was too good to pass up. I was determined to prove that to be true so I made myself available to my team members 24/7. The first group would start at 5am Pacific Time and I was up by then just in case they needed me. This ultimately pulled away from time with Bill and Klaus and I realize that in hindsight.
Is any job THAT important that we need to be on call constantly? Unless we're literally saving lives, the answer is no. Treasure that down time and do not allow employers - or, anyone, really - encroach on that.
Comments