About twenty years ago, I became friends with someone who was quite a bit older than me. I was living very much paycheck-to-paycheck and would often not make plans to get together because I couldn't afford to go out. One evening, we were chatting just about our lives and I was pretty down on myself for being so broke all of the time. He said, "I didn't get a real job until my 40s. Just start where you are."
That has stayed with me all of these years because it stopped me in my tracks. Up until then, I always assumed anyone who seemed to be doing well financially had started saving in their early 20s and had climbed up through the corporate ranks as soon as they'd graduated college. That I could actually start in my 30s had never occurred to me because it felt like an impossible game of catch-up. But thinking about my friend and what he'd managed to accomplish in a comparatively short amount of time gave me the first glimmer of hope that I would not, in fact, be destitute into retirement.
The point of this anecdote isn't actually about money at all but rather the sentiment: start where you are. And yes, I did time this to hit your inbox on the day after Thanksgiving because this time of year tends to consist of evenings spent overindulging and mornings spent regretting. It doesn't matter what the overindulgence is: a few too many pieces of pie, a few too many glasses of wine, a few too many spontaneous purchases, or even a few too many boundaries crossed. They seem to happen in abundance during the holidays.
So, what can we do about it all? Start where we are. It's a waste of time and mental energy to beat ourselves up about what we did or didn't do, and it's equally a waste of time and mental energy to map out grandiose plans to make it all right. All we can do is to start where we are and control what we're doing now. Don't have a sizable savings? Start today, where you are, and save as much or as little as you can. Blew your health plan over the weekend? Start today, where you are, to feel better in your skin. Still steaming about your drunk uncle's political rants at Thanksgiving? Start today, where you are, to set clear boundaries and how you'll put them in place.
There's so much pressure this time of year to make everything the biggest, the brightest, the boldest, the best - but we have the power over what we choose to do now, in each moment, that can help us have the confidence and power to be proud of ourselves later.
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