“I found the best way through pain and loss and grief is to find purpose, and be a light to the world once again.” - Joe Biden
After losing Bill, I felt desperately lost. All of the plans we had were gone and my future seemed to just yawn out into a chasm. I had no idea what to do with myself so I threw myself into projects, which tends to be my default move when I'm feeling lost. I felt something positive had to come of this so, with the help of many friends, I created a scholarship in his name for future culinary students in Western New York. It wouldn't bring him back, but then, nothing would so I thought at least if we could find a away for him to still be able to help new culinary students, there would be some little light through all of this.
Helping others, in any way that we can, often helps us through grief. I began this post with a quote from President Biden because, no matter how you feel about him as a president, the man knows loss. He's openly discussed the dark days after losing his wife, daughter, and son and how that now, consoling others, still helps him with it.
There is, of course, the danger of overextending. The warning of "Don't pour from an empty cup" absolutely is true, but I found that even in my darkest days, talking to others about their trials helped pull me back into the now.
Talking about grief and loss can be difficult, though, and pushing yourself into that space when you're already hurting might be too much. Consider instead small ways to help or even just delight others. Maybe you love to bake - that's your zen. Make a few dozen cookies or a few loaves of bread and gift it to some loved ones who least expect it. Or, maybe you love to read. Pick a few friends and send them some of your favorite books without warning. Little steps like this can provide that charge of love and gratitude that can help us through the toughest times.
Kommentare