In the last decade or so, it seems to have become a point of admiration when someone claims to "tell it like it is." Social media probably has something to do with it, but I've noticed people posting things like "I'm blunt but I'm honest" or "People get mad when I tell it like it is." We've even spun this to be a talking point among politicians, with people leaning towards one person or the other because we believe they "tell it like it is."
But, do they?
To me, this is actually a flag that makes me pay attention. Maybe the person does indeed "tell it like it is"... but that's only according to them. They're honest... but only about what they believe to be true. If that's "telling it like it is," it's a very narrow viewpoint and is also a very stubborn one.
By adhering to this, the person limits the possibility of discussion or debate. They're laying out their beliefs and that's that. I find this to be the opposite of telling it like it is because it's only from one person's vantage point and it ignores all of the millions of possibilities out there.
While it's perfectly healthy to have strong beliefs, we shouldn't limit ourselves by believing our worldview as hard fact. It's not. The only true facts are those that can be held up in a court of law (and even then, laws are rarely reflections of morality.) All other beliefs are just that: beliefs. They're the stories we've been told and that we continue to tell ourselves.
A very clear example came to me about 20 years ago when a very difficult family member died. There was little doubt in my mind that the lack of people at their funeral was a reflection of who they were. But then a man appeared and I didn't recognize him. He told me that the deceased was one of the greatest people he'd ever met. I was floored - truly, I'd never heard anything even close to this opinion. But it turns out, the deceased was actually one of the greatest people to this visitor because they'd helped him out at a crucial time in his life.
Which truth is correct? The very difficult version I held as fact, or the life-saving version that the visitor held as fact? Neither, or both. Humans and the world we occupy are very complicated and few situations are so simple that we can boil them down to one viewpoint.
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