January always feels like a reset to me. While the holidays can be fun, they're often crammed with too many activities, too much food, too much alcohol, and too much of everything. I often look forward to January 2nd so I can turn my mind towards the coming year and all that it will hold.
I'm not really one for resolutions, though, and loss compounds this. After profound loss, it can feel impossible to make goals or resolutions for oneself. It is, however, still possible to think through what we'd like to create, even if that means striking more balance.
There are many ways to approach this, and I heard actor/comedian Martin Short discuss his own personal checklist that he developed that he periodically uses to take inventory of his life. He came up with different categories - health, friendships, relationships family, career, etc - and assigns each a letter grade based on where they stand at that moment. Those with lower grades are where he then turns his focus.
I like to use the concept of balance more fully, and this is not original though I have adapted it. Let's think about broader concepts like this:
Stability and adventure
Self-worth and connection
Personal development and contribution
Each of those areas are pretty basic to our needs - we tend to seek a balance between stability and adventure and can feel dissatisfied with life when we have too much of one and not the other. An example is 2020: with the pandemic and social unrest, almost everyone said "I just want like back to normal!" Then, we had way too much 'adventure' in society and craved stability.
So, think through how you're feeling about life. Do you have enough stability? Too much? Too much adventure? Too little? It's all about what the balance is for you and not anyone else. Similarly, do you feel a strong sense of self-worth? Do you still have enough connection with others? Do you feel you're learning and growing intellectually or emotionally, or would you like to feel like you're contributing more to the betterment of society?
This tool can help us pinpoint what's out of balance in our lives without forcing strict resolutions that we know we'll probably break (and often within two weeks). I can take the lead here because this is all very real for me. 2022 provided much needed adventure but also professionally instability so I'm in search of more stability for 2023. I can then begin to ask what that would look like. From there, I can begin to think through possibilities that would provide the sense of stability that I feel is off-kilter. And finally from there, I can create overarching goals to move towards.
Happy new year to us all. We're still here.
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