So What?

I'm going to a yoga retreat this weekend and I have to tell you: I'm terrified.

Like many of us, I shifted to online resources last year and that included using an app for my yoga practice. And at first, it was great! I was thrilled to be able to keep it up and to incorporate much-needed self care during the pandemic.

But then? Screen fatigue. BIG TIME. I just hit the wall and couldn't bear the thought of staring at a screen any longer than I had to for work.

And now, I'm supposed to go to a yoga retreat that I booked a while ago when I haven't actually gotten on the mat in months. Immediately, my mind goes to: What if everyone's younger than me? What if they're in much better shape than me? What if I can't keep up?

What will they think?

Reasonable, right? Not really, and here's why:

SO WHAT?

Let's take these one by one:

1) What if everyone's younger than me? Well, that is certainly a possibility. But, since I'm firmly middle aged, there's also a chance that I'll firmly be in the middle. And, even if I am the oldest one there: So what?

2) What if they're in much better shape than me? Once again, it's possible. It's more likely that some will be in better shape, others in worse shape, and guess what? It doesn't matter.

3) What if I can't keep up? That's what child's pose is for.

4) What will they think? Who knows? Why even waste mental energy on this? I can't live my life based on what total strangers may or may not think of me.

Of course, there probably will be participants who are amazing. There will be some who are taller than me, thinner than me, younger than me, smarter than me, wealthier than me... you can probably see where I'm going with this. We can't be the apex of everything and why would we want that burden anyway? Allowing fear of comparison or fear of the unknown govern our actions only limits what we end up doing.

Even if this experience isn't great, so what? Chances are, I won't even remember the not-so-great parts in a few months. I will, though, remember that I chickened out. And personally, I know what I prefer.