Thanksgiving is next week and with it comes pressure - lots and lots of pressure. We're bombarded with messages about gratitude right about now and on the day itself, we'll be asked to talk about all of the things for which we're grateful.
And that's a good thing, right?
Practicing gratitude certainly can be helpful. It's a grounding reminder of what we have instead of the societal hints of what we should have or want. But insisting people push aside very real emotions to solely focus on gratitude can result in feeling like we're carrying an even bigger burden than we are.
My deepest grief has (for now, let's hope) passed but I remember thinking about Thanksgiving in 2019 and how impossible it was to feel grateful. My immediate family was essentially gone and I felt like I was in free fall. How could I paste a smile on and pretend otherwise? And even though I'm in a much better place, the holidays can still be a painful reminder of who is not here.
Several people close to me have had to endure the unthinkable this year, far beyond anything I've ever had to. I shudder to think of how awful Thanksgiving will be for them. We, as humans, walk around with incredibly interwoven emotions normally and when we're grieving, even more so. Insisting otherwise - even if we think we're helping - is ignoring their present experience and who they currently are.
For this holiday season, let's tread lightly. People are allowed to feel and need the room to do so. Providing that space might actually allow those who are hurting to have a more peaceful experience than they thought possible.
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