The effects of grief and stress on our bodies is well documented and profound but for some reason, physical health is often overlooked in grief support. Physical, emotional, and mental health are all inextricably interwoven - the brain is an organ, after all - so it's necessary to pay full attention to the red flags our bodies send up during prolonged periods of stress.
I tend to react two different ways when the worst happens: I completely shut down, or I am spurred to do the opposite and I try to take on everything. After Bill died, it was a combination of both. I couldn't function for weeks - I couldn't even feed myself - but then, I realized I had so much to take care of that I just dove in head first. But, thankfully, I understood how important movement was for me, both physically and metaphorically, and I think that was a big part of how I made it through that first year.
Our bodies react to extreme stress the same way, regardless of origin. Our bodies cannot discern the difference between a real, physical threat and a less tangible emotional threat so the reaction is the same: our muscles tense up, our breathing becomes shallow and fast, and our vision becomes narrowed to the immediate. And while this reaction can help us escape a tiger, should one actually be chasing us, it's a harmful state to stay in for prolonged periods of time. Tightened muscles are prone to strain, shallow breathing doesn't allow us enough oxygen, and narrowed vision can quite literally prevent us from seeing everything around us.
All of that said, it seems a bit much to be tasking those in grief with an exercise program or a dietary overhaul. But very small things can make a big difference. Take a walk, even if it's short one. Movement helps loosen up our minds as well, so it's a good time to just let those emotions run amok. The trees won't care if you get an ugly cry out. If you're able to do your own food shopping, or if you have someone helping, try to have some healthy things in the house like fruit. You might not have any appetite at all, it might be unpredictable, or you might just want comfort foods. All are totally normal but any extreme won't provide the nutritional energy you'll need to get through all this. Premade meals can help, asking a friend to do meal prep can help, or just easily prepared things like soup can help. And finally, sleep is a big issue during grief. If you're tired all the time? That's totally normal. Grief is EXHAUSTING. For those who aren't good sleepers, like me, it's worth talking to a good doctor or health professional about what options are out there that can help.
Ultimately, be gentle with yourself. Grief is not the time to berate yourself for "bad" choices. You're just trying to survive. With help from friends and family, your health can be a crucial component in the journey.
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