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Writer's picture: Jamie Elizabeth MetzgarJamie Elizabeth Metzgar


The past few months have been an emotional rollercoaster for a lot of us. From the political landscape to the actual geographical landscape, there's been a permeating sense of fear and anxiety, and with good cause. The overwhelming helplessness can ignite the want to disconnect - and we certainly all need to stop doomscrolling - but playing ostrich is not an option. Instead, we need to do something.


That sounds so overly simple, doesn't it? Too simple, really, because the need is so great that we don't now where to direct our efforts. Here, hopefully, are a few focused ways to truly show up when help is needed.


1) Fact check. Please, please, please do not post or share memes on social media simply because they are convenient. Check to make sure the information is true before spreading more misinformation. Free speech is constantly questioned but we can at the very least make sure that what we say is true. (Unless, of course, you're posting satire to highlight the absurdity of everything - then, have at it. We all need a laugh.)

2) Vet donations. Similarly, check to make sure any fundraising efforts are legit. The fires in Los Angeles (still burning as I type) have displaced thousands of people. Unfortunately, opportunists always take advantage of catastrophes so please be sure the organizations or individuals are real and the donations go towards the stated purposes.

3) Align with your own morals. Not sure where to donate? Consider what causes are most important to you personally. Since I've mentioned the still-burning LA fires, let's focus on that. Pasadena Humane is one I've donated to because they've taken in and treated hundreds of lost, stray, and non-domestic animals near the Eaton Fire. World Central Kitchen is a valuable option for feeding people displaced as well as front line emergency workers. And any amount of Instagram time will highlight different benefits popping up out of need, like clothing shops offering donated clothes to fire victims. You can even donate unused gift cards to people who need them through sites like this.

4) Offer space. Money is one thing but there are other ways to show support to those struggling right now. Allowing them space to be where they are and who they are is key. "Everything will be okay" platitudes might not be as helpful as we intend them to be, especially to those who've lost everything. Instead, allow them to vent without trying to make them feel immediately better. There's no quick balm so attempting to offer one can feel like the survivor is simply being silenced.


Please feel free to share my information with anyone struggling with grief. I'm more than happy to work on a sliding scale basis with people who might need support. As you (probably) know by now, one of my concerns with using the term "coach" is that life coaching can sometimes be more about self-promotion and profit and not actually about helping people. So, let's not do that. Let's be sure to get people the support they need.


One final note: I'm going to be migrating this site to another domain name soon. I've come to realize that grief support is so much more than my initial focus. I didn't fit into the box of what society expected a widow to be and I'd like to unbox my own services to better align with that experience. More on that later.


Until next time, illegitimati non carborundum.

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