I've been thinking a lot about the importance of connecting with people, and maybe it's because I was able to reconnect with so many people I love through 2022. I definitely feel a buzz after spending time with my people - it's almost like a high for me. And I've noticed that a common trait among the people I hold dearest is that they're all curious-minded.
It's an interesting commonality to me, and it's a trait that I think is crucial to surviving hardship. When you're deeply curious about the world around you, you can't help but want to check things out. That's the opposite of getting stuck in one emotion. And while I certainly had some deep lows these last few years, I think it's curiosity that helped pull me out.
For example, even in my worst days, it was really interesting to me how my body reacted to grief. I'd never experienced anything like that before so to notice how and when it was hard for me to breathe, how I couldn't sit up straight, how my shoulders slumped - it was all really interesting. And while I'm no psychologist, I thought through the mind-body connection and what my body was attempting to do (or not do). I was also just really curious about experiencing grief and talked to anyone I could about it because it was amazing to me how many commonalities we had. Everyone's experience was different, of course, but it was so interesting how many times I'd articulate a feeling and the other would say "Yes, that's exactly it!"
Curiosity is also crucial to connecting to others because it takes judgement out. I'm not suggesting we make friends with people we just don't like, but when we ground down and get really curious about why people behave the way they do, we can usually find some very humanizing details. Given our fractious political climate, this can be helpful for our own sanity. Why do people vote the way they do? Is it just to specifically screw over someone else? Is it really to "ruin" the country? When we word it that way, we can see how ridiculous those questions even are. So, why? It's the whys that, when explained, can make some bit of sense even when we don't agree. And we don't have to agree - that's fine too.
Here's an interesting little experiment to try out: The next time you're feeling low, just ask why. Why am I feeling this way? Answer it honestly and without judgement. And, for each reason, keep asking why. Sometimes there are Very Big Reasons for feeling low, but other times, this can help us realize that our mood or mindset is built around beliefs or assumptions that might not even be true.
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