One of the reasons I started grief coaching was to be able to focus on the physical aftermath of profound loss. We tend to focus so much on managing our emotions or just trying to "feel better" - whatever that means - that we neglect our bodies. Feeling better too often consists of quick fixes, like sugar, caffeine, or alcohol. But taking time to unplug and quiet the mind can have a profound impact on our health as we move forward and focus on building the future we want.
I'm certainly no saint. I was very focused on yoga and hiking my first year after losing Bill and Klaus but after the world shut down and more losses piled up, I just kind of... lost... steam. It was hard to keep any motivation up when more stress would happen no matter what I did.
The result? Predictably, I'm feeling the physical fallout now. I know I need to refocus on calming my mind and basically not focusing at all. But how? There are a few things we can do that can help us mentally and emotionally check out for a few and, in times of duress, even that small bit of downtime can have a big impact.
1) Meditate. This is the obvious one. But if you're new to meditation, it can feel like another task we're forcing on ourselves. I know when I still lived in New York City, I was so tweaked up all the time that I'd actually leave yoga class before yoga nidra because I couldn't handle just laying there for so long. So, if you are new to meditation, take baby steps. Try five minutes. Play soothing music. Lay down. Make it easy.
2) Get outside. It doesn't matter if you're taking a strenuous hike or just laying out in the sun for a bit: we all need sunshine and fresh air. And while you're outside, take a moment to really notice what's around you. Do you hear any birds? What does the air feel like? What scents can you detect? Grounding down in the senses can help bring us back in the moment and out of the stressful spin.
3) Move. Again, it doesn't have to be strenuous. Any movement at all is better than none, particularly as we age. I know I feel myself stiffen up much more quickly than I used to. Taking time to walk, stretch, and enjoy the strength of our own bodies can do wonders.
4) Unplug. Social media in particular can result in doom-scrolling, particularly these days. Give yourself a mental break and go on hiatus for a bit. There's no need to take on more vitriol when we're already totally stressed out.
5) Find pleasure. Whatever it is that provides some healthy doses of pleasure in your life, take it. It could be singing in the car or dancing around the house like a maniac - allow yourself some joy. Think about what you loved as a kid and plug back in to that. I know I *still* love digging through my closet and overdressing even if I'm not going anywhere. Those small moments can make a big difference.
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